My life, my words


The ramblings of a young woman almost halfway through her 20s

Best Friend Moments

~Bag of powdered sugar explodes on me at HEB~

Me: *dusts myself off* Man, I’m all sugary… Hey Kenya!

Kenya: What?!

Me: *sticks out arm* Taste me!

Tagged: phrasingbest friendscraziness

sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"

sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"

Tagged: awesomecutedawww

Source: ForGIFs.com

recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?
Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?O FUCKING KAY.~Ponyo-style Ramen(servings: 1 bowl)adapted from: x

Ingredients for Home made noodles-
3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 egg
3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)
Ingredients for soup-
2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
1/4 tsp dashi granules
1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts
Ingredients for toppings-
1/2 scallion stalk
1 egg, hard boiled
1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
1 Tbsp olive oil
~Procedure for noodles-
Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. Flatter than even the traps you gawk at whenever they show up on a thread in /a/. Don’t lie to yourself, everyone loves the traps. 
If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.
Procedure for Soup-
In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.
Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.

Procedure for toppings-
Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.
~HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLESARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.
Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.LOVE YOU, BYE

recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. 

You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?

Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?

O FUCKING KAY.

~

Ponyo-style Ramen
(servings: 1 bowl)
adapted from: x

Ingredients for Home made noodles-

  • 3/4 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
  • ~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)

Ingredients for soup-

  • 2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
  • 1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
  • 1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
  • 1/4 tsp dashi granules
  • 1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts

Ingredients for toppings-

  • 1/2 scallion stalk
  • 1 egg, hard boiled
  • 1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
  • 1 Tbsp olive oil

~

Procedure for noodles-

  • Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
  • Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
  • Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
  • Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
  • Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
  • Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
  • Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. Flatter than even the traps you gawk at whenever they show up on a thread in /a/. Don’t lie to yourself, everyone loves the traps. 
  • If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
  • Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
  • Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
  • Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
  • Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
  • Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
  • Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
  • Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
  • And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.

Procedure for Soup-

  • In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
  • Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
  • Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.

Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.

Procedure for toppings-

  • Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
  • Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
  • Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
  • Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
  • Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
  • Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.

~

HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLES
ARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.

No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.

Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.

LOVE YOU, BYE

Tagged: love itfoodramen!

Source: recipesforweebs

jaegertechnology:

lifesneverhumdrum:

jaegertechnology:

jaegertechnology:

jaegertechnology:

I HAVE SWEATER ON IM TOO HOT I TAKE SWEATER OFF IM TOO COLD FUCK THIS BULLSHIT WORLD

I COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS TO MY MOM AND SHE TOLD ME TO PUT ON THE SHRUG MY AUNT KNITTED ME ONE PROBLEM THE SHRUG MY AUNT KNITTED ME IS BULLSHIT

LOOK AT THIS

image

FUCKING LOOK AT THIS

image

THERE IS NO HEAD HOLEimage

WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS

image

WHY

image

image

image

im still going to be laughing about this the next time i see you

NO DON’T BRING THIS BAKC

Rebloging for the love of shrugs!

Tagged: gotta love itshrugsknitting

Source: jaegertechnology

lana-grant-may:

carry-on-my-wayward-nun:

p1ants:

i think freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks and scars are probably the coolest thing, you started with almost a blank canvas and look at u now, all this evidence that you’ve lived and the sun has shone on you and you’ve grown and maybe tripped up a few times and liked an image so much u made it a permanent part of u, beautiful.

That’s one of the most uplifting things I’ve read

This needs to get passed around more

Tagged: love ittattoosscarsthis is the life I livedmy scars tell a story

Source: paintgod

quickweaves:

Being southern is really funny cause were inherently fake as hell “bless your heart” is THE shadiest sentence in the entire lexicon of americanized english  

I’m a yank that’s spent two decades in Texas, I learned that “Bless your heart” actually means, “you’re a fucking idiot”.

Tagged: yupmaineiachonorary Texanbless your heart

Tagged: pokemonfeels

Source: mrdittomansir

This is me today…

This is me today…

Tagged: pantsproductivitysleep

xxcookievampiressxx:

fernacular:

opaul:

zakdouchegans:

rohzana2:

Can a sister get a ‘HELL FUCKIN YEAH!’ For my buddy Scott, who protected a woman from her abusive ex! Scott was in the hospital for 8 days! The Asshat attacked him with a box cutter. Nose cut 3/4”, stabbed in the arm (16 stitches), the slash across his chest went through to his left lung puncturing it (30 staples)… He is much better now, but he has a lot of nerve damage across his chest and forearm where he was stabbed. He’s got a long way to go. Let’s see how many reblogs/RTs we can get for this BAMF!





Dude.
Duuuuuuuuude.

xxcookievampiressxx:

fernacular:

opaul:

zakdouchegans:

rohzana2:

Can a sister get a ‘HELL FUCKIN YEAH!’ For my buddy Scott, who protected a woman from her abusive ex! Scott was in the hospital for 8 days! The Asshat attacked him with a box cutter. Nose cut 3/4”, stabbed in the arm (16 stitches), the slash across his chest went through to his left lung puncturing it (30 staples)… He is much better now, but he has a lot of nerve damage across his chest and forearm where he was stabbed. He’s got a long way to go. Let’s see how many reblogs/RTs we can get for this BAMF!

image

image

Dude.

Duuuuuuuuude.

Tagged: you go dude!

Source: rohzana2

Cleaning up the "Pagan Tag" - Incense and their Meanings/Uses →

sassy-nymph:

JASMINE

Meaning: Love, Success, Money, Dreams, Spiritual Aid and Opening, For Luck in general, use for Prophetic Dreams, Sensuality, Sexuality, Healing, Aphrodisiac, Intimacy, Seduction, Grace, Beauty, Good Fortune, Elegance, Bride’s Success, Meditation, Moon Magic,…

Tagged: good to know